SM AUDITIONS !! : D

maaan... i shouldv'e like written about this LOONG TIME AGO !
LOL... but because i am the procrastinator/ultimate slacker that i am, i didn't soo... yaaa... >XD
but to make it up, i'm gonna be REALLY detailed like just for me so i dont forget ANY of it : P

okaay... let me bring us baack :

i woke up that day EARLY by myself. like i honestly CANT wake up early, i'd need a SUPER loud alarm clock to do it. but i just got up and i'm like thinking to myself... wdf... ??? O__o LOL and while i ate my breakfast and got ready to go to my vocal lesson which i scheduled before the audition, i was like in a major daze. i felt liek i was in a dream and i felt all light headed... i felt no anxiety or anything O_O like i felt like it hasn't hit me or anything. it was soo weird. liek i was empty or something O__O

fast-forward to the vocal lesson :

Have i mentioned i hate my teacher ? yaa... ANYWAYS... the more i wanted to sing. like just sing more and more and more, the more the guy talked and talked and talked about the lamp, house, floors, metals, Chinese history, my parents, expensive and heavy stuff, EE TEE CEE LMFAO ! and apparently they had everything to do about singing and i didn't understand ANY OF IT. nothing he said improved me. i just had to observe carefully at wat he does and try copying. and he's like you need to SMILE. singing is HAPPY JOB. and i'm thinking, "ya, i'd smile and laugh if you were outta my sight T____T" LOL... in the end i just kept on singing when he was talking to like stop him from going any further lol... i'm gonna do that more and more... anyways... finally it was like 11:20am and i wanted to get there at like 12:00 so i just went and cut him off in mid-speech and rushed outta the door LOL... and in the end it took like 10 minutes to get there.

fast-forward to ALMOST arriving at audition place :

okaay... so we got there and past by the AWESOME ********** MALL and we kept on driving, looking for the place and after we got into this like "street" it was all shabby, messed up fences on the side, broken down factories and in the middle was church and there was some Korean girl that prolley didn't knoe howta speak English and i asked her where the audition was and she's just liek "eh ? uh.. eh ?" LMFAO... and i'm like O_O "THANK YOU VERY MUCH !" and i'm just like to my dad, let's keep driving around LOL XD and not even 100 metres away from the church was the actual place LOL and once again i will say SHABBY lol. it was like those random square-ish buildings that like cover 500 miles of space or something iono... LOL and i go up to the door with all the posters (and afterwards i hit myself hard for not stealing them T_____T since everyone else took em all....) anyways... the door was LOCKED and i'm like WDF ?!?! and there was a map posted there all SM style y'knoe y'knoe and then it was ALL in Korean and i was liek uh... yaa.... wat does that saay... ??? but then that girl from earlier was like screaming at me, BACK ! BACK ! and she made a movement of her arm indicating to go around the building and i'm like OOH ! THAANK VERY MUCH ! (and this time i actually meant it) and i ran to the back of the building while calling my friend from Saturday Korean class, asking where he was... (he was at the mall) i look around for a minute or two and FINALLY i see a DOOR WOOT ! and my friend came at like 8AM and he's like oh, is the door open now ? and i'm like YUUP ! hehe....

inside the building :

the setting totally changed and it just like hit me, even if it was shabby, the atmosphere was a professional building, and there were all these guys in suits and i'm like... my heart tightened whoaa... i was like suddenly all shy and nervous^^; oh and there were these AWESOME CUTE VOLUNTEER GUYS ! all hecka gorgeous ! where does SM pick em up LOL ?!?!? and there were some middle-aged women in formal dressing.... it's soo professional. this is my dream !! so i go thru the door and it just had this LOOONNG hallway and i'm walking to liek the centre of the hallway and there's like ppl crowded around there... and then i went into the "waiting room" and i saw my friends there and i went up and hugged her and jumped around and after that i fully CAME TO LIFE. i was SOO HYPER. i was like talktalktalktalktalktalk LOL XD and i saw my other friends there from saturday school who just came from saturday school. we went into the waiting room which was a lil room maybe the size of a meeting room iono... ANYWAYS i kept urging them to come to that mall and buy food with me. i saw my dad and he came and waved at me. he said some guy thought he was Korean hahaha anywaays i whined and whined about going to eat and finally one person agreed to come and off we went. and when i got outside, my dad was JUST DRIVING OFF. and i'm like HEY ! DAD ! wat's he still here for LOL !! so we caught up to him and he dropped us off at the mall and offered to wait and drive us back while we went and bought food and stuff : ) and we like LOOKED EVERYWHERE for the stupid FOOD COURT. the mall was really pretty... hehe only bad thing... only time i WANTED a McDonald's, they didn't have one there T___T the food court SUCKED ! so i just bought some sucky Manchu Wok T____T and ate half and gave the rest to my dad LOL... so ya while i was eating, my friend went and bought food for my other friends and i just sat there eating XD then we went back down while calling my first friend who was supposedly in the mall at the moment but he ended up heading back to the audition place already LOL.. so my dad drove us back to the audition place while i played with his GPS..

back at the audition place :

this time i TOLD my dad to go and he finally left. when we went into the waiting room this time, there were MUCH MORE PPL than before and my friends were like all in some kinda line up : ) and yaa i realized that they were giving out applications so i took one from the guy and made a big fuss about it and everyone said how big my writing was lol... i had to put my name in and an optional Chinese or Korean name so i made a big fuss about that too and put in my Chinese name in really awkward writing LOL... and then there was like school name, and address and i complained how both of em were super long names LOL... and then it said specialty, height, weight, and i think like nationality, ethnicity (which i REALLY dont see the difference.... ) and wat was your mother tongue ? have you had any experiences with this before (and my friend said it meant like if you ever joined an entertainment company or watever before) and then it was like how'd you found out about them. and i put Youtube LOL and it was like put your signature if you want your picture to be shown. oh and they asked for gender too.. so then we grabbed seats and that's when they turned on the thing that like advertised all of SM's artists and they played some music videos of them INCLUDING MIROTIC !! LOOOOL ! and of course me and everyone else sang a long haha... and ppl were using their phones and video taping it ; ) oh and i ate some of my friend's sushi... well it was only one -_- and then everyone like moved up to the second row and left me and i'm like WDF... T__T and yaa... so when one of them got up i went and sat in her chair and she kept pushing me to get off and i told her that's wat she gets for leaving the youngest alone >XP and i told her to find a chair or else i would and i asked this lady (middle-aged lady; could be my mom; i'm like wdf's she doing here ?? >.>) if anyone's sitting in the empty chair beside her (with a water bottle in it...) and she's like OF COURSE ! and i'm like... whoa... sorry.. LOL ... and then some girl in the front row turned around and i realized it was a korean girl from my school and i'm like HEEY !! lol and she's got this face on like wat am i doing here LMFAO ! and she's like uh... hi... lmfao it was funny and she asked me wat i was doing and i said SINGING and DANCING and she said she was DANCING and she was like in Visual Arts (my school's an art school so... : ) so i'm like COOL lol XD

AND THEN... those mini-POSTERS came. the SOLE REASON for half of the ppl in the room, CAME LMFAO !! so me and my friends just like exploded from our seats and ran to the application desk and WHOO ! it was all choas over there and the man kept on screaming to everyone and watching them closely and saying ONE of EACH ONLY ! and he would like jump at you if you take more and yaa... he was very protective LOL XD but then i realized taht i accidently taken two Kangta posters XP i missed the BoA one but that's okaay... on the back of every poster is a BoA pictures so : ) and so we were all like spazzing about them and just chilled and i talked and talked and talked... XP

ya soo... one of my friends (who was literally DRAGGED here to the audition) decided to act and model. but she needed a theme. i just told her to like ask the judges for a theme aka topic. and she's like wat if it's too hard or watever... etc. etc. so i thought of one for her. like you got into SM, and you're saying goodbye to your parents who you won't be seeing for a LONG time and she's like that SUCKS so i'm just liek FINE. wat if you're liek in SM... and she's like CAN WE GET AWAY FROM THE SM TOPIC hahaha and i'm liek FINE. you're CAT died and she's like i HATE cats.... and i'm like you're not even trying *groaaan* and then my other friend came over and she asked him and they gave her like a topic where her dad called her for the first time in iono... ten years or so... and she took after we all groaned and cursed LMFAO XD yaa and i helped her elaborated hehe >XD so she's practising and then suddenly, the girl starts CRYING and i'm like uuuh.... O___O whoaa... so i hugged her and all and i still didn't really know if she was scared or she was acting, i think it was both :)

and then the numbers came :

lol... i was like talking and the SM volunteer YOUNG GUY came and gave me the number. oh yeah.. did you knoe we had to fill out TWO apps ? i thoought one was for us to keep so i put one away but then we actually have to give in both so that was like weird ... 0_0 anyways i gave him the apps and he checked them to see if it was right or watever and then he gave me a number : D SIX !! i was like in the first group and my classmate was number 4 and my 2 other friends who happened to be sitting with me got like 7 and 8 and the girl's seat i took, like went over to talk to some friends and yaa... she got 20 something ^^; XP yaa... we all got like really excited hehehe >XD so i wanted to go practise since like we were the first group and like a lot of ppl from the other auditions complained that they didnt get to practise or warm up because they were in group one. and yaa i went to the washroom and the washroom doors... dont lock mm-hm -.- so i kinda like fussed about that for like 5 minutes and my friend (the "actress") waited outside and i went out to ask her to hold the washroom door for me and i see her crying. so i'm hugging her and she's calling this Kevin guy and yaaa : ) i wouldv'e cried with her if i wasn't soo happy. then we went back to the washroom after that and i did part of my dance and my friend was like ooh that's good but the moves are messy ^^; and i'm like yaaa.... i knoe... =.= hehe

the announcement :

ya soo like we went back to the waiting room, and an SM volunteer HAWTTAAY ! announced that numbers 1-30 to go wait in the "corridor" lol that's wat he said and i'm like hehe : P he said "corridor" XP and sooo we all lined up and the guy who gave us apps came and quadruple checked are numbers LMFAO. and while i was waiting i took out my iPod and started to listen to my soothing song, JAEJOONG'S Forgotten Season. but then i realize that it's not really helping so maybe i should just practise. and so i put my volume up to max and sang along to the Greatest Love of All.... but i kinda sing REALLY LOUD LMFAO ! and yaa.... my friends like had to poke me to shut up and everyone was liek staring at me LMFAO ! BUT i stiiiill wanted to practise soo... i like covered my mouth and sang and the my friend the "actress" was like it sounds like there's foaming coming outta your mouth and like you sound like you're spazzing or something LMFAO omgosh and then the nerves caame.... yaaap... i got nervous and i started praying; sign of the cross and everything LOL. but i really DID mean it ^^; i was just like. "why didn't i bring a cross ?!?! WHY didn't i bring a cross ?!?!" *whine whine whine* and then we like made friends with this other girl in line LOL... : )

the audition :

finally we were allow to go in. OH ! at first, the application guy let like one person go in (#1) but then i guess the judges told them we're doing it 10 at a time, so he came back out and we all went into the "audition room". I was just like YES ! we can audition. LOL ! i was HAPPY ! okay. so. the first thing i saw was the back of the room, like fully FILLED and covered with a bunch of BoA posters. and when i entered the room and turned i was shocked to find how YOUNG and pretty the lady judge was. i've NEVER seen a YOUNG judge/examiner like EVER. LOL. and then there's this guy beside him with a Staff name tag thingy on him. OH SWEET HEAVENS he was sooooo cuute and pretty OMGAAH ! beats all the other guys. OMGAH. he was beautiful. he looked KINDA like TOP but his facial lines aren't as sharp but smooth and soft kinda, and it's not as strong and masculine as TOP. oh gawd... he was BEAUTIFUL. ANYWAYS. the next thing i noticed was, "oh. look. it's a stove behind the judges. ... WDF ?! wat's a STOVE doing in MY audition room ?!??!!? oh shiit... *looks around..* we're auditioning .... in a.... KITCHEN ?!?!?!?!" oh dear lord... =.= LOL... and then i noticed that off the judge's table was hanging BIG SM POSTERS and around the stove and thingy were some SM AUDITION posters of DBSK & BoA (as if they were trying to decorate the place and hide the fact that it wasn't a kitchen LMFAO !) and so the lady was like really nice. smiled a lot ^__^ and just like said, "Welcome to SM Audition. Everyone please line up behind the yellow line (it was liek this tape thingy across the floor a FOOT away from the wall. and when we lined up again the BoA-postered wall, it fit like EXACTLY 10 ppl. like wall to wall and we were like 1-2 inches away from each other. that's how like SQUISHED and SMALL the place was -___-) I'm gonna record you with this camera, and you will say your name and your number and watever else you want." and then #1 went and the judge told her to come and stay in the middle and when she was going, i was like praying and doing the sign of the cross.. i have a feeling they caught that on tape O___O LOL ! watever... it was crazy nerv-racking... me and my friends were holding and squishing each other's hands. it was THAT scary. anyways, so #1 sang... kinda shaky i think.. i dont really remember... and i think she sang in English... dont knoe the song... and then after liek 30 seconds she was caught off. and then number 2 was a boy and OH GOD... i just felt SO BAD for him. he was Korean, did his intro in Korean and he sang... coughed REALLY bad, and then ask if he can start over and the lady was like ya sure... and so he sang again, another sang, coughed and cracked and kept going and cracked again and this time the lady stopped him with a lil look of "jeez T_T" on her face y'knoe LMFAO... and then #3 was a taller girl and she sang 3 songs from the chorus. all in English, dont knoe first song, sang reflections by Christina Aguilera, and then she sang Raise Me Up. she was okaay but... from wat i could tell... never taken vocal lessons cuz she wasn't like using the CORRECT way of singing ^^; and #4 was my CLASS MATE FROM SCHOOL ! and she said she was gonna dance and they took her CD and said that she'll dance later. and then her friend went (dont knoe her) and she sang SNSD's Into the World... and she sounded pretty much like Jessica... so it was kinda awkward LOL and she was like a little quieter than normal. and thne it was MY TURN HAHAHA ! i was just like no anxiety or anything. i was normal and i said i'm gonna be dancing and singing kinda seirously, so i gave my CD to the lady and i went back to the wall i did my intro, "Hi, my name is Amy, i am *looks down at number tag* number 6 *smile, smile*. and i will be singing the Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston." and then i just like exploded. "I DECIDED LONG AGO, NEVER TO WALK IN ANYONE'S SHADOWS" i literally felt like my voice echoing off the walls and just like filling the room with sound. i remember vaguely thinking maybe i should tone it down... i'm really loud LOL... but then i was like watever.. i like the sound of it... feeling my own voice bounce back at me : ) so i kept on singing and she let me sing for like 51 seconds ! (i just counted) and she stopped me like at the part where it's like "THE GREATEST LOVE OF--" lmfao... i guess it was like i accidentally modulated.. I was worried about that happening when i was practising.. but it was pretty smooth soo lol ^^; and when they cut me off i was disappointed right away.. i knew that they wouldn't have wanted me. like RIGHT away i lost hope... i was soo depressed... cuz they cut me off.. you know the feeling of being happy and excited and then suddenly depressed. its like taking drugs but instead of going high and flying to heaven, you go low and drop to hell, yet i still helplessly hoped. and then my friend the "actress" went. LOL when she was saying her number she said MY number and me and my friend who's like on the other side of the "actress" nudged her at the same time and we're like you're 7 !! LMFAO ! and she's like OH ! 7 sorry ! and the judge laughed hehe ya... and then she acted... i honestly thought she was crying but when she turned around she looked fine (later she told me she was holding back or something) and then my other friend sang that like Elvis song with the "Wise men say, only fools rush in", or watever y'knoe : ) and then the girl we met in line sang.. sorry.. i have no idea wat you sang LOL... and then this other semi-pretty girl and DAMN her intro was friggin TALKTALKTALKTALKTALK too long... and she sang in Chinese... it was like... not enough.. that's all i'm saying.. the quality was normal like Chinese ent quality. and Chinese ent music quality, i'm sorry but its WEAK. lol... yaa and bascily the whole time me and my 3 friends were holding on to each other's hands and clinging onto them... so then we RHYTHM tested to LOW by FLO-RIDA&T-PAIN. i was soo happy cuz the other song is Disturbia and i was just like soo praying it'd be LOW lol... and yaa i just totally like went into it. and fully enjoyed myself and gave it my all y'knoe ^^; but i saw the lady having the cam showing the semi-pretty girl and ya... i think she was turning to wards us buut... i was too into the dancing to really look. i just like ignored it and gave it my all : ) and then DANCE TIME. my classmate danced first to MIROTIC and she was like doing the sexy dance and all and all club-ish y'knoe y'knoe... but i have to say... she was GOOD at it. and then MY TURN AGAIN i just asked the lady if i could move up and she's like ya sure. so i did and i did my routine messed up around like... 0:07 LMFAO ! i added a move when i'm not suppose to LOL... but i didn't even notice until AFTER i did the move and i just like kept going and my friend said it wasn't like noticible : D anyways i was totally enjoying myself and they cut me off, she cut me off after 28 seconds and i was like.. uh... LOL... i guess she was tired of holding up the camera cuz in my routine i moved around a lot... i didn't like stay in one place and ya... i guess she got pissed from moving with me... iono... watever. it was awkward cuz i was in the middle of like doing an arm swinging thingy and she stopped me in the middle so really awkward cuz my arms were like everywhere LOL XD and when i turned back my friend was like that was really good and i'm like really YAY ! hehe.... and then the semi-pretty girl danced she was allowed to go on for so long. i guess it was cuz she was pretty T_T it okaay i guess ^^; and then she sent us all back and no one stayed behind... and i knew like right away... like my depression and disappointed got worse... *sigh.... ohwell...* so we all got out of the room and i wanted to say good bye but the next group coming in blocked me

after the audition :

so we walked out and i'm like skipping and stuff and super hyper active and OF COURSE everyone was looking at me XD and ya... we went back to the waiting room to tell like my other friends how it went and stuff : ) and then i went looking for my Soompi friends and i only saw like Psychotic_Otaku and j-tan03 ^^; and yaa.. then a dance battle started between this soompi guy i think he's like rayrayyxue on YT and this other guy. i remember thinking the ray dude, how fricking GIRLISH he was. like its not that he was pretty, he acted liek a weak girl. it kinda was cute but it was also.. eew.. y'know. and everyone looked like they liked him, and my friend was like crazy over him. its just like WHY? HOW? T_T

there was a lot of people around how some were just chilling, some were practising on their guitars and singing. my friend called herself an oppa.. i met other friends who we laughed and chilled with.. asked my other friends who was like 120+ how's he doing.. we went in and out of the practise room.. talked some more and hung out.. then finally we kinda left.. it was sad saying bye. thinking about it makes me hurt. the depression, which i tried to concede, spilled out as soon as i parted with my friends in the subway station. and then i sulked and hoped helplessly.

the reflection after some days :

i was depressed but really, i felt like i learned and experienced a lot. from my mistakes, my embarrassement, from everything. it felt good and complete even though i sulked. it would never be something that i would regret doing. hopefully i will get in eventually.